Suicide: let’s talk about it.

Suicide.

In the United States, a person dies by suicide every 13.3 minutes, claiming more than 39,500 lives each year. It is estimated that an attempt is made every minute, with close to one million people attempting suicide annually.

That’s way too much.

There are many thoughts, opinions, and discussions that surround this tragic topic. & I would like to talk about some. Some see it as a selfish act. Some see it as a desperate act. Some see it as one’s only option. Some see it as a relief because the person is no longer in pain. Some see it as the coward way out. I see it as a tragedy.

Regardless of ANYTHING, it is one of the most heartbreaking realities in my opinion. This is something that hits close to home but also something that I personally have A LOT of trouble “dealing with.” I have trouble shutting the door on all the thoughts that flood me of how much pain someone must be in to go through with taking their own life. My heart physically aches when I think about it and that’s a very hard feeling to shake.

Now, I am a religious person and I believe that God has a special place for those who commit suicide (the ones who didn’t do it selfishly & God is the only one who can judge that). I believe in a God who wouldn’t punish someone who is hurting enough to take their life. Suicide is the devils doing. HOWEVER, this does not excuse suicide because it hurts a lot of others: parents are left without a child, siblings without a brother or sister, children without a parent, friends without friends, etc. People are left behind to grieve, to ask questions, to have a new kind of pain that can’t be described. It’s easy, yet very hard, to get mad at someone who takes their life. All I know is it sucks! The grief of suicide is different than that of cancer or a car accident and that’s because to some extent, this death included a choice. And I wish I had magic words to make suicide okay but the truth is…it should never be something that we are “okay” with it. It should affect us. We should talk about it. We should acknowledge it.

So what can we do now? How can we have positive come from these tragedies? Well, we can remember that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. I don’t mean live in fear but I do mean to keep in mind that we NEVER know fully what someone is going through; whether it be situational or a diagnosable mental health condition. Don’t put off an apology or a friendly hello. Call our loved ones often. Ask people how they are and then LISTEN. Offer to go through the tough things with a friend/family member. Be their support. When needed, find professional help.

At the end of the day, the biggest and most important thing we can ALL do is pray. Pray for ourselves. Pray that there be 1 less suicide that day. Pray for the families that lose someone. PRAY FOR THE PERSON WHO FEELS SUICIDE IS THEIR ONLY OPTION. Just pray. A lot.

To learn more, receive help, donate, participate in a Out of the Darkness walk, & much more, visit https://www.afsp.org/

2015-02-13 19.06.43In memory of so many but specifically B.C. (gone but NEVER forgotten).

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Are you really living life?

“Everybody spends money to live. You can either find a way to make that money work for you or you can continue to do what you’re doing and everything stays the same.”

Read the above statement again then ask yourself–am I finding a way to make “money” work for you because LIFE IS SHORT and we were note created to spend 50+ hours a week working for someone else, living paycheck to paycheck, missing out on family events, and not living. It doesn’t make sense. The theory may have worked in past generations but it has taken a 10x spin and has gotten out of control. We are defined by our “titles,” salary, how many hours we work, how hard we work, our yearly evaluations, our status at our J-O-B (just-over-broke lol) and so much more. We as a socieity are on over-drive & not in a pleasurable way.

What about things like how many times do we get to see our family in a month, how often do we get to read good books, do we use and enjoy our hobbies & talents, do we get enough vacations filled with cherished memories that we hold onto forever, are we taking lots of wonderful photos, laughing until we cry, experiencing the small and large moments in our children’s lives…& so much more! Well—think about it.

Soooo…why not be smart? Find a way to leverage your hard work and passions & set your future up for success (both monetarily & not). There are so many options out there so I advise you to tread with caution but look, research, find your fit, and then take a calculated risk and jump! Try to escape the “Groundhog Day” life you are living–if you want to call it living…

Personally, I found a company about 3 years ago that allows me to convert my spending into earning. It’s a simple changing of your mindset/habits and then BAM…there’s hope again! HOPE for a better live than originally planned. Daily HOPE that I think MANY have lost. Have you lost your hope? Well..FIND IT AGAIN!!

*You are more than welcome to ask me what’s given me hope & about the company I have partnered with. It may or may not be for you but at least you asked. Don’t live another day just “living”…find your change and hope for the life you deserve!

A Letter To The “Old” Me

A daily struggle. What holds me back the most. Something I need to let go of… grieving the old me. Some may wonder what I mean by this and it is very hard for me to explain but here I go…

July 2007. Tragedy occurred that changed me forever. Loss & grief consumed me. I was 20 yrs old. It has been the worst part of my life thus far but also the part I am most thankful for because it made me who I am today. It made me better, gave me substance, changed my life irrevocably. It’s where I learned to BELIEVE that everything happens for a reason because without believing that, I can honestly say I wouldn’t have made it through. But NONE of this changes the fact that I truly miss the pieces of me that I will never get back. It’s hard for me to remember much prior to that day but I remember how I felt–carefree. I used to be fearless in so many ways–my actions, my smile, my heart, and so much more were done without thought, without fear. An extrovert for the ages. The “new” me fears everything. Don’t get me wrong–for the first time in a long time, I am VERY happy and life is coming together but anxiety underlies everything I do. Ironically, I have an amazing ability to put a “positive twist” on EVERYTHING and be a beam of positivity for others but not always for myself. I have extreme guilt for things I had ZERO control over. I can’t take away the pain my family went through watching me hurt and change. I can’t take away the mistakes I made while trying to numb the pain. I can’t take back any of the relationships that ended due to me being in a very different place than people my age. The love of my life and man I am with now (& forever) will never know who I was before that day. He has been given the “broken” me and that makes me sad.

I need to say goodbye to the old version of me. I need write many letters telling her that it is okay that we part. I don’t know why this is so hard because I like who I am now (most of the time haha) but it’s incredibly difficult. Is it because the old me is when D was still alive? Is it because my innocence is in the old me? Is it because the old me didn’t fear everyone she loved dying? Is it because life was easier then? I don’t know the answer.

What I do know is that I am who I am because “life” happened to me. I have strength, unconditional love, perspective, and so much more that others don’t have and may never have. It will take time, effort, prayer, and thought but I can be comfortable in me. I CAN love fearless. I CAN laugh without reserve. I CAN sleep without worry. I WILL..

I am

A girl & her blog.

So I’ve been thinking a lot lately and I realized I’m still working on the direction for my blog but I know that I have a lot to offer and am determined to give all I have. I know I am creative, an entrepreneur, a helper, a calculated risk-taker, a believer, and so much more so why not me?

Over the next few weeks I’ll be looking more deeply at what I want out of my blog and what I want to give to you.

#Blogging101 is sure to help & I’m excited for this new entity of me

xo

The shiny parts

I read an article today (included below) about the way we date/love in this day & age and it was sad to me because it was so real. We live in a time where we have our relationships & lives on blast with every different social media outlet. Only problem, we only put the shiny & perfect pieces, therefore making our lives into something they aren’t. Making us look perfect to the outside world. After enough time, we begin to believe the version of our lives portrayed to the world and not the true, raw form that is “life”.

I think the good parts are just as important as the bad. The struggles, the tears, the doubts…they are the black piano keys that meet with the white to make beautiful music. They develop character, make us stronger, and usually allow us to lead a happier life because we aren’t pretending to be something we aren’t.

We live for likes, retweets, double-clicks, and what others see/think, an obvious negative to social media. We live vicariously through others posts and photos instead of living! We become so involved in everyone else that we forget to notice what’s going on around us and see what God has blessed us with, good & bad.

Now… what can we do? I don’t think I have that answer at all. It most likely starts with baby steps. Post a status written by the REAL you. Go out & don’t take a photo (so u can immediately post and tag everyone..ps no one cares haha). Maybe take a selfie ONCE & be happy with it. Yes I said once…no retakes allowed. Then keep it for you. Talk with a friend and don’t pretend that everything’s perfect, shiny, and great at all times.

Live for you.
Love for you.
Be true to you.
…..Own it.

“We realize that this more we want is a lie. We want phone calls. We want slowness. We want simplicity. We want a life that does not need the validation of likes, favorites, comments, upvotes. We may not know yet that we want this, but we do. We want connection, true connection. We want a love that builds, not a love that gets discarded for the next hit. We want to come home to people. We want to lay down our heads at the end of our lives and know we lived well, we lived the fuck out of our lives. This is what we want even if we don’t know it yet.”

This Is How We Date Nowu

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Waiting for Fridays

“TGIF.” “Thank goodness Friday is almost here.” “3 more hours until my weekend can begin.” ‘I can’t wait until Friday is here.” “Ugh, Monday.” “Hump day! Half way there!” etc etc….

We all here & see the above phrases week after week by plenty of people in our lives, including ourselves. My question is–why do we live for Fridays & the weekend? Is this how we want to spend our ENTIRE lives? I sure don’t!

Unfortunately we’ve only ever been taught that we are in “work-mode” typically 9-5, Monday-Friday and that we can “enjoy” life on the weekends. Anyone else think this is a sad way to live life? We only have one life with a certain amount of time and we spend so much of it WAITING for the Fridays in our lives.

So ask yourself–do I like my job? Am I happy at it? Is there something I’d rather be doing? Am I entrepreneurial and should be taking back my time? Do I spend enough time with my children or am I too busy with life to notice them growing right before my eyes? Do I live everyday or go through the motions? Where in my day can I fit something enjoyable?

I challenge you to live. Live on a Monday. Use your vacation time. Take a mental health day. Put music on and enjoy cleaning (I know…crazy thought haha). Appreciate the silence & then ride the rollercoaster of craziness during the busy times. Stop and take a look around. Prioritize. Love. Stop waiting! We all have the same 365 days a year, 7 days a week, 24 hours a day…go live!

“Live! Live! Live! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death.”-Auntie Mame

stop-waiting-for-Friday